The Ramblings of a Deranged Walgreens Employee

So a couple of days ago, I tried making an audio post using audioblogger. Three times.
Shit never went through. Considering the last post I made, which I was for sure went through, had me highly agitated and screaming at my cat that was meowing at me, would've been most entertaining. I ended up kicking her, which was clearly heard, to get her to shut the hell up.

I would type my story about walgreens, but I refuse to repeat myself a 4th time...

Saturday + 3 workers and 1 manager calling off = worst day of my life

... ever.

Passport pictures comes in bunches, as any photo clerk knows. Today was the second day in a row.

This lady needed a couple photos, which I was more than 'happy' to oblige.
I pulled down the screen and told her to stand in front of it. But her cell phone, which she had in her purse, started to ring.
She didn't get it.

Machine's down

Yesterday the machine broke down. Yes, that's right. It just plum fizzled out.

Uncurable paperjams. I took that baby apart, poked and prodded around, fingered holes, rubbed it down with a wet cloth and everything. No good.

I got very intimate with it. Let's just say I know places now that would make it blush.

For four hours I molested the machine and played phone tag with the Fuji Help Center, DTR, and our Fuji Rep. Someone is going to have to fly in and fix her, but good.

I'm off today, but work tomorrow. It'll be very strange not being able to print pictures. Sorry, I have to go, my eyes are watering.

So, it's been awhile since I've entered anything into this blog. In fact, I probably wouldn't be entering anything in now if not for the fact that I just discovered this mass email I sent out to everyone I knew promoting our website.

So, I pop in and I see that MRW is the only one posting these days which I felt was kind of a swift kick in the pants from all of us other not-so-dedicated compadres of his and I am now here writing...nonsense, pretty much.

Um, nothing's really happened. I mean, there's your occasional urge to kill, but it passes once I clock out. Um, the Fuji tech broke the machine apparently. That's one thing, I guess. Um, we were number one last week in sales. Managed to beat 757 Michigan which is a pretty damn busy store from what I hear. I know I would never want to work there.

Er...what else?

I cook alot more these days.

Golden Globes are gonna be on tomorrow. Who's watching that...ok, no one is reading this. I'm leaving.

My only request here, was to get off Monday nights. Yet, Mrs. Mullen has successfully scheduled me 3 weeks in a row to close Monday night, thus thrawthing my plans.

I brought this up to her and her reply was:

"Because I'm an ass-munch."

She, truly, does rule.

Prepare yourselves. The second coming is at hand.

Time to update everyone on the Floridian experience I am enjoying.

3 weeks after Charley hit the state, Frances hit. This time my area was struck. The eye passed just about 40 miles from us. We were in the Northwest Quadrant, which is equally dangerous, maybe moreso than the eye, because that is the section of the 'cane that tornadoes are formed.
We started to feel the effects of it on Friday, and since it only moved about 10 miles an hour, it wasn't completely gone until Monday.
Luckly, I never lost power, cable, or phone/dsl. Just about everyone I work with lost their's, and some still don't have it.
After it was gone, on Monday night, my phone/dsl went out. AFTER.

I didn't think the area got much damage, because it looked 'clear' outside my door. That is until Monday when we went out to Walmart for some grub, and saw that there were big-honkin' trees ripped out of the ground.

My store closed early on Saturday, as did all stores, so I didn't have to work. I was scheduled off Sunday and Monday. Curfews were in effect, no one out after dark. Tuesday morning arrived, and I found myself at my darkened store. The power had went out on Saturday.

We worked in the dark, hot, muggy store for our allotted shifts. We wrang people up with a calculator. Nearly all of them were dumbasses, asking if we had ice or milk.
It's like they couldn't make the connection seeing that it was dark, and us telling them we had no power, that maybe milk wasn't going to stay good and ice wasn't going to stay solid. They also were confused when we told them they could only pay with cash.

The next day, Wednesday, we were still without power, but eventually were able to get a couple gas-powered generators. So we had some lights, and the registers working. Still no a/c, or working cooler/freezer.

Today, Thursday, still no power, word is that it'll be anywhere from 1-4 weeks 'til we get it back. We now have a large generator. So we had a/c and were now able to take credit/debit cards again. And the stockroom wasn't pitchblack.

Before I forget, Ivan is coming our way...

the following story is true, it actually happened, in no way is this story fictional or based on fictional characters. welcome my friends to the harsh streets of northside chicago.

it was a dark gloomy night, i noted as i walked through the mist heading towards the war front popularly known to commoners as walgreens. as previously arraigned i was to meet chris and haro at 11:30 to make our way to a friendly poker game. upon entering the store i began my search for haro who was currently on duty. Chris was no where to be found. halfway through my second lap of the friendly confines i laid my eyes upon haro scurrying around tying up the loose ends that come with the end of a shift. he informed that chris had decided not to join us this night on our way back to photo counter. while shutting down the lab an older gentleman ambled to the counter. i immediately had to take three generous steps back to escape the stank that was fuming from this man. struck by confusions and curiosity i began to scan the customer to determine what exactly was dying. some might have chalked it up to poor hygiene, but coming from a farm i knew that something more was at play here. i began to search the man with my eyes only to discover that my instincts were correct. but still i couldn't believe it. pouring out of his shoe was feces. i mean it was pouring, like someone shit inside his shoe and he then proceeded to put it on. i began to smile as haro was forced to stand to stand within the cloud of stank and wait on this man. the smell was so potent that he left and walked to the end of the aisle to grab a two liter and you still smell him. in fact when haro and i returned to the photo counter no less than two hours later, remnants of his stink still clung to the air. i will never forget the night i seen this man with shit soaked shoes on. it will be one of the greatest highlights in customer service history. for that haro you will be awarded with the inaugural "walgy" service trophy for excellence in retaining your natural desire to scream what the fuck. here's to you buddy......(gulp, gulp).......

This old lady asked me how long it would take to get her pictures back.
"That would be 1-Hour."
-"WHY???!?!"
"Um, because that is what we advertise."
-"Oh."
She starts digging in her purse for the roll.
-"How much is this going to be?"
"How many exposures do you have?"
She presents the roll, a 36exp., after a couple more minutes of digging.
I get her information and tell her it'll be an hour and send her on her happy ass way.

She comes back after 16mins.
-"When will they be ready?"
Since I'm not nearly as evil towards customers as I once was, I tell her that it would be about another half hour. Even though the negatives were already exiting the dryer.

She came back about 15mins later, and stood and waited by camera. At this point, I was breaking Register 1.

I had her order finished just in the nick of time, the nick of time being the half hour time frame I gave her.

I am so thoughtful and nice.
I always like to keep my word.

Well, everyone, this may just be it for your good old pals Chris and
Carrie. Looks like Charlie and Bonnie have decided to come
devastingly close to our proximity. I just KNEW this would happen
coming down to Florida. If I do bite the big one, I would like for a
moment of silence to be held in my honor, followed by the playing of
the song Jungle Boogie.

Goodbye everyone. *sniff*

-chris

A customer told me that her mom was waiting in the car to read the pictures.


I was out on my smoke break when this little dude comes up to me, looking a tad bit lost. He asked me for directions. Since I am still new to this town, I had to think some, to make sure that I didn't send him the wrong way. Fortunately I knew where he had to go. I told him to take 'this' street, via way of gesturing with my arms the proper street, down about 5 blocks and that it should be right on the corner. We are on 8th Ave. He needed to get to 3rd Ave.

I guess, because I hesitated, that he though I was full of shit, because he turns his back to me and goes inside, saying over his shoulder, "I'll go ask inside."

???

Fucker.

I do have stuff to say, but not the effort to say it... Drained in the heat, I am.

Today I was given the task of putting up the new window signs stating our Digital capabilities. A big ass sign. We have it hanging over register one. So I grabbed the 20 foot ladder put it in between the cigarettes and the register. It was tight.

Thankfully Bryan was there and he helped me replace the signs. So there we were, trying our darndest to get this monsterous bitch up, I had to go down the ladder multiple times for screwdrivers and pilers. Pilers, after I lost a hook!

We're up there, and while Bryan was unscrewing a screw, I was looking down and saw this lady on a cell-phone grab a candy bar, or something, and start to walk up to the register. She saw us. As she was ready to place her buyable object on the counter, I yelled, "over there," and pointed to register two. Stupid, stupid people...